


We Had Everything

by lightswoodmagic (sarah_writes)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Exes to Lovers, Famous Louis, Fluff, Getting Back Together, M/M, Non-Famous Harry, Singer Louis, based on Too Young, mentions of smut kinda, ziam wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:35:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24003676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarah_writes/pseuds/lightswoodmagic
Summary: “You know Harry’s coming, yeah?”Louis’ fingers twitched, faltering where he was straightening the knot in his tie as he tried to ignore the false nonchalance in Zayn’s voice. He had no idea how he missed the name on the invite list, how he skipped over the initials on the small gifts, didn’t notice the elegant swirl of Harry’s name inked onto an emerald green place card.Or, Louis and Harry fell apart, and Louis' never forgiven himself. He gets a second chance at Zayn and Liam's wedding.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik & Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik/Liam Payne
Comments: 21
Kudos: 337
Collections: Walls Fic Fest





	We Had Everything

**Author's Note:**

> Based on Too Young By Louis Tomlinson.  
> A massive thank you to [Mia](https://so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed.tumblr.com/), my brilliant beta who I'd be lost without, my group chats, and Nic and Maggie for running the fest.  
> Hope you enjoy! x

“You know Harry’s coming, yeah?”

Louis’ fingers twitched, faltering where he was straightening the knot in his tie as he tried to ignore the false nonchalance in Zayn’s voice. He had no idea how he’d missed the name on the invite list, how he had skipped over the initials on the small gifts, hadn’t noticed the elegant swirl of Harry’s name inked onto an emerald green place card.

The most logical option was that it was kept from him, a secret to be held between Zayn and Liam in the lead up to their wedding day, like they thought Louis would break down at the sight of his ex-boyfriend’s name.

Louis blinked in the mirror, blank blue eyes meeting concerned hazel ones over his shoulder in the reflection. Zayn was watching him carefully, and Louis could tell that his own movements were almost too calculated as he shook himself to finish his tie.

It shouldn’t matter,  _ didn’t  _ matter, not really. Him and Harry had broken up almost five years ago. Harry had been his first boyfriend, his  _ only _ boyfriend; even now that he was 25 and had been on his own long enough to make Zayn and Liam worry, and to make his family try to set him up on blind dates.

He’d had a couple of first dates and one night stands, meaningless flings in dark clubs and pointless nights in stranger’s homes, just enough to take the edge off until he found someone that made him feel like Harry had for the three years they’d been together. 

But it had all been pointless, because no one had ever come close. 

Louis had tried to blame it on the fact that he hadn’t been allowed to have boyfriends for  _ years. _ Every one night stand had come with a berating from his management team, a warning that it  _ wasn’t time yet,  _ an NDA that added to the nightmare that swirled within him. It was almost a relief though, in a way, the constant reminders that maybe what had happened hadn’t been his fault. 

That maybe losing Harry had been out of his control. 

Louis hands flitted over his lapels, smoothing them down even though they were already wrinkle free, dropping his gaze so he didn’t have to see the sympathy reflected in Zayn’s. 

He cleared his throat, wincing at the toughness of it. “That’s great. Why would it matter? Doesn’t bother me, mate.” 

The fact that he was the one that said the words didn’t make it seem more believable, and he wished he could grab them from the air, shove them back in his mouth where the lies didn’t sting so harshly. They’d settled as a dull ache for years now, pushed to the back of his mind to fester into an overwhelming combination of guilt, self loathing, love, and strength. 

A hand clamped down on his shoulder and when he looked at Zayn, he was staring at Louis with one eyebrow raised. 

“It’s just me, mate. You don’t have to lie.”

With a scoff, Louis turned properly to fix Zayn’s bow tie, the black velvet soft under his fingertips. There was no point in lying here, not to Zayn who’d been his best friend since they were five, who’d been his shoulder to cry on when Louis had broken his own heart in a struggle to understand the wickedness of the music industry that’d tried to swallow him whole. “It’s your wedding day, Zayn. We’ve got more important things to worry about, like where you managed to tie a fuckin’ bow tie.” Louis grinned, but it was strained, and the twitch of Zayn’s fingers when he cupped Louis’ neck showed that he realised, too. Louis’ smile fell. “This is atrocious.” 

They both laughed, but it lacked humour, almost monotonous as Louis took his time fixing the tie, hoping to prolong the inevitable conversation about to happen, but he sighed in defeat when Zayn’s thumb rubbed circles against his neck. 

“How long’s it been since you’ve seen him?”

“In person? Since we broke up.”

“And through stalking his social media?”

Louis winced, stepping away to put his shoes on. “A couple of hours, give or take.” 

Zayn snorted, but Louis ignored him as he sat down to tie his laces. He tried to not actively seek him out, tried not to cave and look up Harry on Instagram, but sometimes he was too weak, desperately waiting for the time that Harry could break routine and post a selfie so Louis could curl up in a ball and feel sorry for himself. Zayn always said maybe it was a good thing, that maybe seeing him again would be a touch too difficult, and Niall only ever mentioned Harry by accident after he’d caught up with him for drinks or dinner. 

Apparently being surprised with Harry’s entire  _ everything _ was just something that was in his best man duties. 

They’d all gone to school together, grown up together, and Louis admired how much the boys had made sure to stay in both his and Harry’s lives after everything. 

Of  _ course _ he was going to be here. 

It took Louis a moment to realise that he’d stopped moving, holding his laces loosely as he stared at the cream carpet under his sole. There was a crack of something sharp under his skin, the patchwork of cigarettes and naivety he’d carefully crafted tearing into shreds at the thought of Harry,  _ his _ Harry, finally being in the same room. 

Louis hadn’t decided if it was a good thing, or the thing that would destroy him beyond comprehension. 

What if Harry had brought a  _ date?  _ What if he had a boyfriend, or a fiancé, or was  _ married? _ Louis knew that Harry was teaching physics and hadn’t left London either, but he had no idea whether he was single or not. Louis had told Liam long ago that he didn’t want to know anything about Harry’s love life. That’d been a lie too, a thin one that he knew the lads had seen straight through, but they respected him enough to take his word for it. 

There was another crack at the back of his mind, everything threatening to fall down at the drop of a hat, but then Zayn was there, kneeling in front of him in his perfect suit, and Louis took a deep shuddering breath.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.” It was whispered, and Louis winced when his voice cracked. 

Zayn was silent for a long moment, his hand resting on Louis’ knee. “‘m sorry. I wanted to, we both did, but by the time we were ready, we felt like it was too late. You know how close him and Li are.”

Louis was shaking his head before Zayn even finished speaking. “No, it makes sense. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it sooner,” he laughed, squeezing his eyes shut against the initial sting of tears. Zayn’s hand tightened on his knee. 

“I think it’ll be good for you to see him, Lou. Maybe you can finally get a bit of the closure that you need.” 

Their attention was pulled away by a soft knock at the door, and Louis tried to quickly wipe his eyes; the last thing they needed was something to take away from the wedding in even the smallest way. Zayn’s mum stuck her head in the door, smiling widely, and then the room was filled with Zayn’s family, and Louis got swept away in the rush that his _ best friends _ were getting married. 

Harry lingered in his mind though as he quickly finished his laces; made his stomach flutter as he stood still when Saf put his boutonniere on, caused his hands to sweat when he flung his arm around Zayn’s shoulders with a wide grin for a quick photo. 

It wasn’t until Zayn was reading his vows and Louis turned a little to sneakily wipe away a tear that he saw him, standing right near the back with his family. 

His heart skipped in his chest, the most obvious of cliches, and Louis couldn’t tear his eyes away. 

He was stunning, even more so than Louis remembered, with his dimples out and eyes wide, his hair shorter than Louis had ever seen it. Louis’ heart stuttered in his chest, and everything seemed to slowly fade out around him. 

Harry was staring directly at him, and Louis had been a fool to think he’d ever been able to move on. 

One night. He only had to get through one night, and then maybe, every kiss, every fight, every night spent wrapped up in each other, every restricting contract, every feeling of pure  _ love,  _ and every morning that Louis had woken up wishing he’d fought harder would vanish as quickly as Louis had five years ago. 

The crowd erupted and Louis startled, grinning when he turned back to see Liam dipping Zayn as they kissed for the first time as husband and husband. He could still feel Harry’s gaze though, had to force himself not to sneak a glance at him again. 

One night.

Easy. 

*****

When something life changing happens, something that makes you rethink everything you’ve done and everything you will do, they say it’s the first three seconds when you wake up that are the calmest. For those three seconds, it’s easy to forget whatever’s happened, easy to pretend that everything’s the same. 

_ 3 _

Heat, searing but comforting all at once, easy to relax into.

_ 2 _

Someone’s feet tangled with his, intimate and too familiar.

_ 1  _

Soft hair tickling his cheek, the smell of apples invading his nose.

_ 0 _

Louis’ eyes shot open. 

He was home in his own bed, the white walls and fairy lights along the window reassuring him as he tried to get his bearings. There was someone in his arms, warm and welcome that stirred  _ something _ in him, and even though Louis knew deep down who it was, would recognise the wavy hair and apple shampoo anywhere, it was the tattoos inked down the man’s arm that made his heart stutter.

The ship to his compass.

The anchor to his rope. 

The rose to his dagger. 

_ Harry _ . 

Fuck. 

Louis carefully untangled their limbs, every cell in his body screaming to push closer still, kiss and touch every inch of his love until he was a panting mess, but the dull sting of what must be nail marks down his back made him think he already had. 

He was in the shower before he’d properly woken up, and when the warm water rained down over him, it was almost like it revitalised his cells, bringing him back from the sleepy bliss he’d revelled in for as long as possible.

Everything came rushing back so quickly that Louis almost keeled over. 

He had avoided Harry for as long as possible for self preservation, going for photos with the rest of the bridal party and drinking too much beer to try to forget what had been waiting for him at the reception. 

They’d always been like magnets though, drawn to each other even when everyone tried to keep them apart, and Louis had lost all self control when he’d seen Harry dancing with Louis’ mum, head thrown back in laughter as Jay spun around him. 

Louis let the water wash away the smell of beer and cigarettes as he remembered slamming his glass down on a nearby table when his last thread of sanity had snapped, the look of surprise on Harry’s face that had softened as Louis had approached him from across the dancefloor and how his mum had slipped away with a knowing grin, how tightly Harry had hugged him, the way he’d almost cried when Harry had said how much he’d missed him. 

It’d been too easy from there, had thrown Louis back to the happiest times in his life; dancing with Harry, laughing with Harry, talking about his life with Harry, flirting with Harry, just  _ being _ with Harry,  _ Harry Harry Harry. _

There were flashes of some kind of shots, vodka or tequila maybe, jumping around with the lads and pulling Harry closer by an arm around his waist.

Flashes of Harry looking at him coyly and lining their tattoos up while Louis sucked in a drag of a cigarette outside, excuses to touch that Louis happily gave into.

Flashes of Louis giving in, falling further, lasting longer than he had thought he would, tangling his fingers in Harry’s hair and slamming their mouths together. 

_ Heat. Wet. Fingers leaving bruises. Hickeys in the back of a cab. Slamming into walls. Skin on skin. Not enough and then too much.  _

Harry was still just as responsive, just as electric, just as beautiful when he came. 

And now it was clear that Louis needed him more than ever. 

He sighed, pushing out a long breath, and turned off the shower to face the gentle rejection he knew was coming. 

He’d given himself one night, and one night was all he’d be able to have. 

By the time he stumbled out into the kitchen wearing grey joggers and an old sweater he’d pulled from the back of his closet, he half expected Harry to have left already, the only sign remaining the scent on his pillow or maybe the tie from last night. 

But Harry was standing in his pants and one of Louis’ oversized shirts, his hands wrapped tightly around a mug of tea, reading one of the articles pinned to his fridge. 

He was even more beautiful now, bathed in gentle morning light from the kitchen window, tired movements and a pillow crease still on his cheek. Louis knew he’d still be sleep warm, soft to the touch if he plastered himself along Harry’s back like he’d done too many times to count. 

His heart  _ ached. _

Louis cleared his throat, and he tried to push down the stab of disappointment when Harry’s back stiffened. “Haz.”

“I was so proud of you when I saw this.” Harry didn’t turn around, but he ran a finger down the newspaper clipping that Lottie had put there. Louis could only stare. “It’s what you always deserved, Lou.” He spun then, and his eyes were shining in the light. “I wish I could’ve been there with you,” he finished with a whisper, and Louis was stepping forward with a shake of his head. 

The headline of the six month old article caught Louis’ eye,  _ SINGER LOUIS TOMLINSON COMES OUT AS GAY, FLOODED WITH SUPPORT,  _ and his hand halted halfway when he reached for Harry. There were other articles there too, ones that spoke of his management’s power and guessing who his songs were about, but none of them seemed to think that they could possibly be about his old ‘best mate’, didn’t seem to consider that Louis would still love him after all these years. 

“You were all I could think about the entire time,” Louis whispered back, choking on a sob, and then Harry was putting the mug down harshly on the bench and pulling Louis into his arms. “I’m so  _ sorry. _ ”

Harry was already shushing him though, his arms tightening around Louis in a way that made him feel safe and loved and finally free in the only way he’d ever wanted. Harry’s words were murmured into Louis’ hair, but he heard them clear as day. “We were too young, Lou. They were eating us alive, and you deserved better than that.” 

“ _ We _ deserved better than that,” Louis shot back, but it was full of warmth and love and Louis knew that no matter what, he couldn’t let Harry leave again, wouldn’t ever push him away. 

They swayed together in the kitchen, wrapped around each other as Louis clung to him. There was still too much to think about; Louis’ management, his upcoming tour, the way the public would react and whether Harry would even forgive him, but as they sat down at the kitchen table, wiping tears from their eyes and holding hands across the surface, Louis just  _ knew.  _

They were stronger now, more prepared for what was coming, freer and older and ready to take on whatever was coming. 

And Louis was never going to let anyone hurt them again. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!  
> Come say hi to me on [Tumblr](https://lightwoodsmagic.com/)!  
> Kudos and comments make me happy, and I'd love it if you reblogged my fic post [here](https://lightwoodsmagic.tumblr.com/post/618464050454626304/we-had-everything-by-lightswoodmagic-nr-27k/), if you're so inclined xx


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